Kerusakan Akhlak dan Mental Anak Penyebabnya Adalah Para Ayah?

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Sering kali kaum ibu lah yang dituding sebagai penyebab kerusakan akhlak anak, para ayah sering kali berlepas tangan mengenai urusan anaknya karena merasa sudah terlalu lelah dan sibuk bekerja.

Sehingga banyak ayah yang menganggap dirinya berhak menyalahkan istrinya jika terjadi sesuatu hal buruk pada anak-anak.



Padahal, Ibnu Qoyyim radiyallahu 'anhu dalam kitab Tuhfatul Maudud secara tegas menyatakan bahwa penyebab utama rusaknya sebuah generasi adalah karena ayah.

Beliau mengatakan, “Betapa banyak orang yang menyengsarakan anaknya, buah hatinya di dunia dan akhirat karena ia tidak memperhatikannya, tidak mendidiknya dan memfasilitasi syahwat (keinginannya), sementara dia mengira telah memuliakannya padahal dia telah merendahkannya.

Dia juga mengira telah menyayanginya padahal dia telah mendzaliminya. Maka hilanglah bagiannya pada anak itu di dunia dan akhirat. Jika Anda amati kerusakan pada anak-anak, penyebab utamanya adalah ayah”.

Pernyataan Ibnu Qoyyim ini perlu dijadikan bahan introspeksi untuk para ayah, sudahkah melaksanakan peran dengan baik dan benar selaku kepala rumah tangga?

Apakah para ayah menyadari peran vitalnya untuk anak-anak, baik anak laki-laki maupun anak perempuan.

Penelitian Ilmu Psikologi menemukan bahwa peran ayah sangat besar dalam menumbuhkan rasa keberhargaan dalam diri anak, baik pria maupun wanita.

Salah satu sisi pengaman anak perempuan agar tidak mudah terjebak dalam seks pranikah adalah kedekatan dengan sang Ayah. Dia membutuhkan figur seorang pria yang baik, pengasih dan penyayang.

Anak perempuan pertama-tama mengenal “dunia” pria dari sang ayah. Dia mendapatkan identitas seksual sebagai perempuan dari sang Ayah yang memperlakukan dia sebagai anak putri dengan baik.

Selain itu, ada dua penelitian lainnya yang memperlihatkan hubungan antara rusaknya akhlak anak dengan peran sang ayah.

Melansir dari majalahummi, Dr. Tony Ward dari University of Melbourne, Australia, dalam penenelitiannya, para periset mewawancarai 55 laki-laki yang dipenjara karena penganiayaan terhadap anak-anak dan 30 laki-laki yang dipenjara karena terlibat kasus pemerkosaan.

Mereka diminta memberikan persepsinya terhadap hubungan mereka di masa kanak-kanak dengan ayah dan ibunya. Sebagai perbandingan, para peneliti juga mewawancarai 32 laki-laki yang dipenjara karena kejahatan kriminal dan 30 laki-laki yang dipenjara bukan karena kekerasan atau kejahatan seksual.

Lebih lanjut, para pemerkosa dan pelaku penganiayaan anak-anak ini, rata-rata menggambarkan ayahnya bersikap “menolak” dan “kurang konsisten” ketimbang ibu mereka.

Dari sini Ward mengatakan jelas sekali bahwa sikap dan kebiasaan yang dimiliki para ayah memiliki pengaruh kuat terhadap pertumbuhan anak-anaknya, terutama terhadap para pelaku kejahatan seksual dan penganiayaan anak-anak.

Penelitian tentang ‘keayahan’ juga dilakukan oleh Melanie Mallers, asisten profesor di California State University di Fullerton. Dalam studi tersebut, Mallers dan rekannya meneliti 912 pria dewasa dan wanita – usia 25-74 tahun – melalui telepon tentang tingkat stres mereka selama delapan hari

Temuan penelitian disajikan hari Kamis pada konvensi tahunan American Psychological Association di San Diego. Pria yang cenderung bereaksi negatif terhadap stres setiap hari melaporkan bahwa sebagai anak-anak mereka sangat sedikit kehangatan dari ayahnya, sedikit dukungan dan kasih sayang.

Mereka tidak hadir secara fisik bagi anak-anaknya dan tidak membuat anak-anak merasa percaya diri, mereka juga tidak terlibat dalam kehidupan anak-anaknya secara keseluruhan.

Hasil penelitian ini seolah memperlihatkan betapa peran ayah sangat penting dalam mendidik anak-anaknya. Maka, wahai ayah... kembalilah ke rumah dan nikmatilah kebersamaan dengan anak-anak yang merindukan sosok seorang ayah di sisi mereka

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